I always wondered as a child, I knew why my parents didn't help, they weren't in the building, in fact the school system seemed to do its level best to obfuscate or distort the realities of school whenever possible. They were as powerless as I was.
Thus it fell to the system itself, and its various cronies, from the hall patrol to the principal. Monsters who I even in my early years understood could not be actively trying to hurt me. They were probably as powerless as I, but powerless against what? That was the question.
Who is the real enemy here? And more importantly how do I kill it?
Explaining to myself, why my protection was not a priority, is what lead to my tenure as an informal philosophy, sociology, economics, and anthropology student.
The question was at the time was... Why are aggressors typically allowed to function while defense in kind from typically passive people is not? If the behavior itself is not the issue, and the source of the behavior is, what is the real goal? Since the stated goal of stopping all violence as a matter of policy was obviously bogus.
The answer, while somewhat cliché and conspiratorial, is backed by mountains of evidence both anecdotal and empirical. Which I will happily provide on any single point.
The answer is that typically, those in a position to bully are under control from a social standpoint, be they the simple minded atavistic thug, to the casually brutal Alpha male. Each is snared by The Company's control trifecta: Greed, Fear, and Guilt.
Typically The Company only needs one to rule a person, and once you are ruled certain behaviors become indicators. Greed for example, Greed is demonstrated by a lust for power, and that manifests in children as power struggles and bullying. A bully sees power as the ability to inflict pain, they live in a sensational world not much larger than any given setting they physically stand in and can draw in with the senses.
The bullied introvert typically lives in a world far more cerebral, abstract, and large. The size of the world and its problems in terms of both scale and variety instantly inspires fear. The overwhelming uncontrollability of reality shocks the introverted mind, while the bully goes about his or her business blissfully ignorant of the existential predicament they and all others stand mired in. The introvert's reaction to fear is typically passivity, a desire to slide under the radar, avoid notice, and do as one is told, often coupled with fantasies of future potency to offset current impotence. Delusions of future reward which make them diligent and naive workers.
When the bully and the introvert collide they engage in a dance as old as the fist, the introvert seeks ways of avoiding the bully, and the bully seeks ways of asserting authority. The bully becomes the center of the introvert's fearful world, a bogeyman that represents horror both existentially vague and personally specific.
This is where the answer comes in. As with a cornered rat, eventually flight fades as an option especially in a setting where one is typically not allowed real exit, such as school. In time and with sufficient pressure the fear of the future is crushed by the weight of the present and the introvert attacks the bully, thus attacking the avatar of his own fear.
The introvert typically has very little greed, having accustomed himself to the social leftovers, learning how to subsist on very little, and learning that great joy can be found in things of little social value, things people don't fight over. (like books, and other cerebral pursuits) The introvert also knows that he or she has absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. The introvert knows better than most that this attack was completely unprovoked in terms of direct behavior response. “What are you lookin at?” or the adult prison equivalent “You eye ballin me?”
And finally we have our answer. The reason they let it go on until you stand up. The reason the bully slides away and you get detention or worse. The reason the system itself becomes the bully.
Because the introvert who finally stands up is now free of The Company and its wretched trifecta. Guilt, Greed, and now finally Fear, are all gone. Suddenly an uncontrollable and unpredictable element now stands firmly behind enemy lines, like a trustee that loses interest in special privileges in exchange for obedience and decides to crush that which he has served.
People like that change lives for the better, and that gain is always The Company's loss. The Company needs you scared, and ravenous, and ashamed else you might just realize it needs you more than you need it. And time is on your side.
When you shed these things you shed a leash that was born the day the first shaman told the first lie and ate better as a result.
That's why don't help.
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